Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 12, the day we wished death on the Internet craze. Photo via Creeping Jesus. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.
What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted): A busy evening tonight. There's baseball, with MLB Network showing Rays-Yankees or Nationals-Phillies at 7. At 8, FOX has your preseason NFL fix covered with Bucs-Chiefs; ESPN has a Little League World Series Southeast Regional final between Warner Robins (Ga.) and Tampa; and the NFL Network has Arena Bowl XXIV, which pits Jacksonville and Arizona. ESPN2 has a middleweight fight between Antwone Smith and Kermit Cintron at 9. And Showtime has MMA's Strikeforce Challengers at 11.
The story of the guy who invented the fake Nyjer Morgan Twitter account: "‘Plushdamentals' had even become part of the Brewers' lexicon. It was a catch-all term used for wins and great plays and anything Morgan did on the field. Fans latched onto it. To have some effect — any effect — on Brewers culture was as exciting as the memories of that first game, or the three paltry trips the Brewers have made to the postseason. Then, on May 17, Nyjer Morgan joined Twitter as @TheRealTPlush." [Slate]
This Date In Deadspin History
Aug. 12, 2008: Even The Little Girls In China Are CGI-Enhanced
Things You Might Have Missed Today
Some quick links to a few items we posted earlier:
• Kyle Davies's Year Goes From Worst To Worster
• Drunkenly Pissing On The 11-Year-Old Daughter Of A Cancer Patient Will Cost You A Shot At The Olympics
• You're Spectacular, Tiger-Bombing Guy
• Louis C.K. Versus Dane Cook, By The Numbers
• Our Entire 2011 Deadspin Comedy Week Archive
Strolling through Baghdad: "There are certain rules to abide by when traveling in the Middle East, where a woman's worth is counted in cattle and she is considered either a virgin, married or a slut. Chief among these rules: Cover your arms, cover your legs and cover your hair. In fact, just to be safe, cover everything. A glimpse of thigh is a money shot over there. Cleavage is practically pay-per-view. Other, non-gender-specific rules when traveling in a "troubled" area include: Don't make a scene. Don't draw attention to yourself. Remember to be respectful of religion. Don't wander off alone, due to high kidnapping rates. Do not pilfer from archeological sites. And never use your hotel prayer mat, found in most rooms, as a rag to mop up a leaking toilet. All these rules were about to be broken as our group headed heart-of-darkness-like into the desert and its cruel sun." [Playboy]
Texas A&M to the SEC?: "Branch told ESPN that the SEC could vote as early as Saturday, but the higher education committee hopes to know what is at stake for the rest of the state. ‘There are millions of dollars at stake,' Branch said. ‘And this could affect students at other schools like Texas, Texas Tech and Baylor.'" [ESPN]
UPDATE: Clay Travis says it's happening. [Outkick the Coverage]
Probably because it's tougher to text dong photos from over there: "Even though he doesn't have a contract finalized, Lakers forward Ron Artest declared his intention to play for the British Basketball League's Cheshire Jets." [Los Angeles Times]
Your Vietnamese Fabric Softener Commerical interlude:
We're sure they'll get around to it eventually: "In a conference call Thursday, N.C.A.A. leaders said that they would consider paying student-athletes full scholarship cost, raising standards for incoming recruits and stiffening graduation requirements for postseason play and bowl game eligibility. But after a year defined by off-field scandal, the meetings failed to address the N.C.A.A.'s most corrosive problems: middlemen who sell players, summer basketball coaches who broker deals with boosters and the abuse in payments for unofficial visits. … Two key people who did not attend the meetings were Mike Slive, the commissioner of the Southeastern Conference, and his counterpart in the Big Ten, Jim Delany. Few would dispute that they are the most powerful men in college sports. Although the presidents of Hope College and Molloy College might have provided keen insight into the future of college athletics, they are not exactly the rainmakers." [New York Times]
Favre speaks. And he's definitely done. But he's still an asshole: "‘I don't have that feeling, that chip on my shoulder,' said Favre, the NFL's all-time leader in numerous passing categories. ‘I mean, I could easily talk myself into that chip on my shoulder like, ‘Hey everybody hates you,' … I could motivate myself.'" [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. You should also go buy The Last Laugh, Phil Berger's exhaustive history of stand-up comedy, from which we published this excerpt earlier today. Get it here.
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