Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Word's out from San Antonio that a thief raided the Alamo Golf Club this morning, stole a flag, and escaped the course unscathed. The club says this man, wearing tube socks, orange shoes, and Texas flag running shorts, should be detained. We say fuck that. Let's find this man, and let's harbor him from justice.

Flag Thief is an American hero. Flag Thief is Paul Revere, Rocky Balboa and Occupy Wall Street all wrapped into one lean, bronzed package. Flag Thief is hope.


If you know Flag Thief, or recognize him from the pictures, don't be a snitch. Help fight the power. Give him water, clothes, a spare room to hide his bounty.

He did this for you, America. He did this for us. Let's not let him down.



h/t to Matt

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