Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Say you're a reliever on a newly compelling major league baseball team that rolls into another AL town in the middle of August. Like the Baltimore Orioles' Luis Ayala, for instance. Say you haven't pitched in a few days and you're more bored than you usually are in August, which is very bored. Like the Baltimore Orioles' Luis Ayala, for instance. Say you're married, sure, but your wife's all the way in Mexico, and you're itching to make a new female friend. Like the Baltimore Orioles' Luis Ayala, for instance.

What do you do, then? You woo a young lady with sunflower seeds, then you toss her a personalized baseball during batting practice. Reader Josh writes in:

My girlfriend went to the Rangers-Orioles game last night in Arlington. Luis Ayala of the Orioles threw her this baseball during BP.

She was out by the Rangers bullpen and some of the O's pitchers went out there for long toss, etc. She said he kept looking up at her during his workout. After they finished up, he went behind the outfield wall by the Rangers bullpen where there is some sort of office/bathroom/equipment room under the bleachers. He came out after a couple of seconds and tried to talk to her and wooed her with a bag of unopened sun flower seeds. He then walked away and over to a security guard and asked him for a pen. She thought he was signing a baseball for a kid in the area. Ayala then ran off back to shag balls during BP and dick around with the rest of the O's staff. A few seconds later the security guard walked over and gave her the baseball photoed. The security guard said that he told him to give her the baseball.

After she got the ball, she said he kept looking over throughout BP.

We spoke to Josh's girlfriend, who got the ball and the seeds. She said it wasn't just Ayala who looked over after the guard tossed her the ball—all of Baltimore's bullpen fixated on her, waiting to see how she'd react to his gesture. "So middle-school," she said. She didn't make a scene out of it.


But Wednesday night, after the game batting practice, she did text the number. (We tried calling it on Thursday and Friday and didn't get an answer.) Ayala wrote back after the game ended.

Lady: Is this how you hit on girls? Throw them baseballs with your number?
Ayala (assuming this was indeed his number): Helloooooooo
Lady: Why hello
Ayala: Sorry why u so mad
Lady: I'm not mad. I'm impressed with your pick up line. Most creative one I've seen yet
Ayala: Hahahahahah i want to make some friends sweety its bad to send u at baseball whit my number? Sorryyyyy
Lady: I'd like to be friends
Lady: Thank you for the ball
Ayala: My placer
Ayala: Ok .my new friend have good night i hope dont forget the number 38

And she never will!

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