Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

This is the kind of goal that makes me want to laugh and puke at the same time. On the one hand, it’s objectively hilarious when world-class athletes are reduced to helpless props in a pinball blooper. On the other, if Marcos Alonso or Antonio Rüdiger were positioned just inches differently, they could have been saved from total mortification. Try not to identify with their pain, which we have now frozen in an endless repeating loop.

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