Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while trying to parallel park your Viagra rocket ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at St. Louis (8:05 p.m., ET). Should be Dempsteriffic [WGN] • WNBA: Phoenix at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). Please inform me via Twitter when the brawling and dunking starts. [ESPN2] • Movie: The Magnificent Seven (8 p.m., ET). We deal in lead, friend. [AMC]

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