Today In Dumb Shit College Sports Programs Spend Money On Instead Of Paying Players: Gargantuan TV

Big-time college sports programs are in a never-ending, Brewster’s Millions–style race to burn through as much money as possible in order to claim that they are not profitable and thus can’t pay players. State-of-the-art practice facilities and bloated administrator contracts used to be enough to hide all that dough, but as business keeps booming, schools are getting creative. Some of them spend millions of dollars on big-ass stickers, or an i ndoor slide. The University of Michigan football program, which averaged $127 million in annual revenue from 2014-16, has continued this grand tradition of money-burning by purchasing a 25-foot TV:

Congratulations to the Michigan football players, who do not have salaries but do have an impossibly large TV to play Fortnite on.