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One thing about Tommy Lasorda: He's not afraid to tackle the tough issues. Have steroids tainted the record book? Should Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame? What of the Kenny Rogers incident? These are issues that will, um, have to be addressed at another time. Right now Tommy wants to remind us that he still hates the Phillie Phanatic. Witness this dusty memory from the vault:

"I confronted the Phanatic. I told it not to use my jersey anymore, and so the next time he did, I was forced to act. I went right up to it and body slammed it to the turf."

You see, Tommy has always considered himself baseball's ultimate mascot. Overstuffed, a virtual parody of himself — more cheerleader than anything else. If Lasorda were any more buffoonish he'd be, well, dancing on dugout roofs and tooting his protruding horn nose.

I Hate The Phillie Phanatic [Tommy Lasorda's World]