Today In Soccer...

Germany 7-0 Luxembourg. Lots of international friendlies going on today in preparation for the World Cup, and you know, I don't think it would kill Germany to be nice to Luxembourg, just once. They unleashed a serious beating on the undermanned 'Bourgers today, with two goals each from Oliver Neuville (both in the 90th minute), Lukas Podolski, and Miroslav Klose. Hasselhoff assisted on all seven goals. Oh, and German defender Robert Huth turned his ankle, but no one knows how bad it is at the moment.

Chelsea agrees with Kalou. It's not a done deal yet, but Chelsea's expected to sign Salomon Kalou to a four- or five-year deal this week. He was formerly with the Dutch team, Feyenrood, but wanted to move on to bigger and better things. I don't know how it gets any better than being a professional athlete anywhere in the vicinity of Amsterdam, but hey, whatever makes him happy.

Swansea 2-2 Barnsley. Barnsley won in the shootout, getting them back into England's Championship League, the one just a notch below the Premiership. Barnsley, evidently, goes by the nickname of the "Tykes," which is decidedly unintimidating. Hopefully, next year, they can get into the bigger league and beat the hell out of the Toddlers.