Tom Jackson Might Refer To Him As A "Retard"

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We've never met Brian Giles; it's possible he spends his evenings studying Proust and calculating Pi. But we doubt it. The following tidbit is from The San Diego Union-Tribune (via The Smittblog), and we're just going to reproduce it in all its glory.

"Hey Greg, I've got one for you," Brian Giles said to new Padres teammate Greg Maddux last month. "Why was the mathematics book depressed?" Giles said. After the 333-game winner pondered the question for a few seconds, Giles slowly delivered the punch line. "Because it had a lot of problems inside."

Giles laughed as if he were the second coming of Robin Williams, slapped Maddux in the left arm and walked away. Maddux, appearing perplexed, resumed answering questions from a reporter. Giles returned a few second later, speaking slowly, like an athlete who took too many shots to the helmet. He stared into Maddux's bemused face. "Greg, here's another one. What kind of waves are the really small ones in the ocean?" Pause. "Micro waves."

Giles giggled and walked back to his dressing stall. A trace of a grin appeared on Maddux's face. Then Maddux resumed the interview. Giles returned in about 30 seconds - naked - and said, "Greg, what kind of language does a porcupine use? "Spine language." Maddux belly-laughed. Giles roared and, now content, the right fielder made a triumphant return to his clubhouse stall. "I guess it's funnier when he tells the joke without wearing any clothes," Maddux said.

We don't want overstate this, but it's very likely that Brian Giles has a serious mental disability and needs professional help.


Clubhouse Chemistry Winning Formula? [San Diego Union Tribune] (via The Smittblog),