Photo: Justin Edmonds (Getty)

The NL West is good as hell right now. The Rockies won 5-3 and swept the Giants and are now 1.5 games up on the Dodgers and two on the D-Backs. But you’re not here for that divisional intrigue, are you? That’s not what you were promised, and that’s not why you clicked. You, my like-minded friend, are here for dingers.

Rockies shortstop Trevor Story provided the dingers, going deep three times off Giants starter Andrew Suarez, and all were massive shots. The second, at 505 feet, was the longest home run recorded in MLB since Statcast began tracking them in 2015, and the longest home run in the 24-season history of the Rockies’ ballpark, and the longest home run in franchise history. Together the three blasts traveled 1,380 feet. Let’s see those bad boys!

Dinger the first: a swing so hard that Story fell down at the plate, yet somehow still managed to pull the ball 459 feet.

The first homer might’ve actually been Story’s favorite of the trio.

“I’ve never fallen down like that. On a swing-and-miss for sure. It was a two-strike count and I wasn’t really trying to hit a home run. I was just trying to hit something hard. I guess it was cool, because [Adrian] Beltre was one of my guys growing up, and that was definitely his thing. Mine definitely wasn’t as smooth. I pretty much fell on my face. That was special.”

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Teammate Carlos Gonzalez recognized it as a warning. “That’s how you know he’s hitting everything hard,” Gonzalez said. “I was like, ‘OK, my guy’s feeling good today, so don’t throw him strikes.’”

The Giants continued to throw him strikes. Dinger the second:

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Goodness. That’s what 505 feet looks like, setting the official ballpark record by one foot over Giancarlo Stanton’s blast in 2016. Now in third place is the legendary 496-foot shot by Mike Piazza in 1997, but which came in a time before Statcast and which many people believe went well farther than the official measurement.

“I’ll take it,” is how the reticent Story described his record-setter. So let’s go back to his hype man:

“As soon as it came off the bat, I said, ‘Oh man, that’s going to hit the scoreboard and it’s going to go straight to my Lamborghini in the parking lot,’” Gonzalez said, reveling in his teammate’s huge night.

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Not exactly, but the ball did land on the concourse and hit the Helton Burger Shack.

Finally, dinger the third: a measly 416 feet, but perhaps the biggest of the night, giving the Rockies the lead for good in the sixth.

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Story got his curtain call and the Rockies got the win, and all anyone wanted to talk about was the power show.

Manager Bud Black used the words “awesome” and “majestic” to describe Story’s trio of home runs.

“What great swings … what a night.”