Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Trouser Snakes On A Plane

Remember that scene in Airplane where everyone starts freaking out that the pilots are sick and then, pow, some topless chick runs right in front of the camera? That was the first time I ever saw an unclothed pair of boobies in cinema ... while watching it with my parents. They didn't realize that was part of the movie. This was also last week. I tell this story because it's certainly the first time that the New England Revolution soccer team have been on board with a naked man. That they know of.

On their way to a game in Los Angeles, American Airlines Flight 725 was diverted to Oklahoma City after one passenger came out of the lavatory completely nude. After reasonably debating with the man why he should put his clothes back on (compelling argument: the seat belt has a tendency to chafe), he did so. But when he sat back down, having read through SkyMall twice, he apparently tried to open an emergency exit door. The Revolution's assistant coach, general manager, and VP of personnel were able to subdue the man before Slim Pickens rode the door like a horsey down to Earth.


Of course, since it was a soccer team doing this, it took 15 minutes of strategic back-and-forth action before they were finally able to break through and hand him over to the authorities.

More good news: now that the Revolution has seen how easy to dominate men who enjoy public nudity, they should have no problem the next time they play against David Beckham.

FBI: Soccer Team Members Help Subdue Man On Flight [AP]

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