UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes

The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faintly Orwellian title for a guy whose job will probably involve rifling through fighters’ garbage like a latter day version of A.J. Weberman. The story below, written by former sports blogger Tommy Craggs, will present the fight fan wondering what the fuck this guy’s deal is with context and worthwhile invective.