Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Uncorking The Hugh Johnson Project

Another weekend of college football has begun, but for once we'll have to make due without the play-by-play brilliance of Pam Ward. Everyone's favorite Hugh Johnson punching bag is off covering the WNBA Finals so this week you'll have to settle for her substitute saying the most ridiculous things imaginable. There are already ten games underway, four of which feature ranked teams, including the number one team in the land from Oklahoma. The Sooners are in Waco this afternoon facing a Baylor team that is really looking forward to this game being over. The Bears gave up a long touchdown pass to Manuel Johnson just 36 seconds into their opponents first drive. When Oklahoma got the ball back the next time they embarked on a more traditional 9 play 63 yard touchdown drive finished off by DeMarco Murray from two yards out. Fast forward a bit and the score becomes 28-0. In the first quarter. Nasty. Other scores of interest: Iowa State 17 - 0 Kansas (16) Ed. Note: Daaaamn. (6) Penn State 10 - 0 Purdue (12) Florida 7 - 0 Arkansas Michigan State 13 - 3 Iowa Minnesota 7 - 7 Indiana The ACC sucks a bit too much to get any space so far, but if Duke does something spectacular I'll be sure to let you know... Okay, fine. Boston College and NC State are scoring on each other at will, and Chris Cane is well on his way towards a 400 yard passing day. Suck on that, Matty Ice. BC leads 21-17 in the second quarter. On to the comments! UF is at Arkansas. There are (at least) 4 white frat boys in the crowd that painted their faces black. Is there a "Black Out" at the game? No there isn't. Thanks for asking. -Mr. Red Devil 4 Ever Penn St. Purdue and Iowa at Mich St? Didn't they create the Big 10 network so the rest of us wouldn't be subjected to this kind of thing? -iwishuwrentaliar (Ed. Note: That's the leader in the clubhouse for comment of the day.) Sarah Palin can see Mangino from her house. -JelloMan 4 Best Gameday sign: "New Bailout Plan: Bet on the 'Dores." -Signal2Noise Gameday brought Kenny Chesney on wearing a BoSox hat. Is there any team he doesn't jump on the bandwagon for? At least he hates Notre Dame. -Signal2Noise JoePa injured his leg while showing his players an onside kick. There's no punchline. It's just that funny. -drscooter 19 I was up until 4 AM today reading a romance novel, in a (most likely) vain attempt to impress a girl. Thank goodness I have football to allow me to regain my masculinity. I mean, yes, it's only Michigan football, so I still remain pretty girly, but at least there's some violence. -fraganhome Big Ten Network just showed a commercial ending with JoePa real close to the camera going "COME TO PENN STATE!" while crapping his pants. That guy needs Depends. -drscooter 19 Just heard from an Iowa fan who described his team's defense as a "Bend & Suck" defense. Make of that what you will. -kingdonut66


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