Useless Prop Mike Pence Attempts To Explain Taxpayer-Funded PR Stunt

Photo credit: Michael Conroy/AP
Photo credit: Michael Conroy/AP

Mike Pence tried to be a big strong boy yesterday, walking out of the 49ers-Colts game because a handful of 49ers players knelt during the national anthem, as they have been doing all season. Almost immediately, it was revealed that Pence had planned the stunt well in advance, and thus had taken a plane from Las Vegas to Indiana for the sole purpose of pulling off thumbing his nose at black athletes trying to call attention to systemic oppression.


A lot of people understandably wanted to know how much Pence’s self-serving detour cost taxpayers. CNN estimated the costs:

According to the Air Force, flying a C-32, the model of plane used for Air Force 2, for one hour costs about $30,000. Pence’s flight from Las Vegas to Indianapolis Saturday took about three hours and 20 minutes, so it cost about $100,000

Pence then flew from Indianapolis to Los Angeles on Sunday, which took about four hours and 45 minutes, costing about $142,500.

The grand total: about $242,500.

This morning, Pence’s office released a statement attempting to explain that, actually, stopping in Indiana for no goddamn reason wasn’t inconvenient and costly at all:

That ... doesn’t make any sense? Right after the game, Pence flew to California so that he can attend a fundraiser in Newport Beach tonight. Going from Las Vegas to Indiana to California makes no sense, and yet the explanation offered by Pence’s office is that the original plan was to go from Las Vegas to Washington, D.C. to California, which makes even less sense.

Imagine how easy it is to be Mike Pence. His boss is the dumbest, oldest person to ever hold the office of president, and all he has to do to come off like the sane and reasonable one is absolutely nothing. And yet he still manages to make a big public showing of a what useless, dunderheaded clown he is at every opportunity. Mike Pence was given the lowest bar to clear in the entire history of the vice presidency, and all he’s managed to do with the chance is become The Guy Who Stared At North Korea Like An Idiot and the Guy Who Left The Colts Game Like A Stooge. Good job, Mike.