At a time when Steven Seagal has become an obese parody of himself on A&E, Jean-Claude Van Damme announces that he'll return to a kickboxing ring to evolve beyond a Hollywood life of drinking, "cocaine and all that shit."

Don't call it a comeback. Call it really, really sad. Unless he dances like this before the fight. Then it's probably the greatest thing to happen in the history of people.


Not that I have any expertise in matters of kickboxing, but I have a gut feeling the fight'll go something like this ...

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