So a thing that’s been in the news recently is the ongoing exchange of sick burns between boxer “Fuckboy” Floyd Mayweather and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. This beef is verbal, with tension sparked and stoked by thickheaded, numbnutted clownmen who think that pitting an athlete of one sport against an athlete of another sport in hand-to-hand combat would be must-see TV or something, and goes like this: Mayweather is a thorough disgrace of a human being who beats women, all the time, and Rousey, a woman, takes exception to him doing so.
It got Lit when Ronda Rousey bested Floyd Mayweather this summer at the ESPYs, winning the award for best fighter. At this point, Rousey is a rather accomplished actress, and when she was interviewed with her trophy, she put on her most serious face and said, “I can’t help but really say that, I wonder how Floyd feels being beat by a woman for once. I’d like to see him pretend to not know who I am now.”
If we’re being honest, there’s really no coming back from this. But Mayweather lacks both decency and self-awareness, so instead of donning a trash bag, driving his Phantom deep into the Mojave Desert, digging a hole, crawling inside of it, and waiting for the elements to overtake him, he responded.
“I’ve yet to see any MMA fighter, or other boxer, make over $300 million in 36 minutes,” he said. “When she can do that, then call me.”
Addressing a devastating and accurate critique of your character with, “Hurr, check the bank account,” is indeed the wackest and weakest possible shit and not really worthy of a response, but Rousey, too, is a nigh-sociopathic competitor and a prolific trash-talker, and so she shot back with some Actually.
“[Floyd] said, ‘You make $300 million a night, then you can give me a call’ ... and I actually did the math, and given the numbers of my last fight, I’m actually the highest-paid UFC fighter and I’m a woman,” she said. Then: “I think I actually make two to three times more than he does per second.
“When he learns to read and write, he can text me.”
In a vacuum, “you can’t read and write,” is rather lukewarm as slander goes. But! This motherfucker probably literally can’t read and write!
Ha! Fuck that dude!
Today, Floyd came back with this: “Last time I checked I was number one on Forbes. She will never be at my status.”
Let’s put aside that saying, “she will never be at my status,” is rather awkward phrasing that you’d expect from a dude who might not actually be able to read and write. This is interesting, because when ESPN reported on this story, they threw out this nugget:
Mayweather amassed $420 million in earnings in 2015, according to the Forbes list released in June, including nearly $220 million for his May 2 victory over Manny Pacquiao in the richest fight in boxing history.
Now, in many circles, Forbes lists are regarded, probably rightfully, as like 93% poppycock. Still! Four hundred twenty million dollars! That’s a lotta fuggin’ money!
What I’m saying is: we have questions. We’d like to lay eyes on some receipts.
We don’t have Floyd’s number, though, to request he procure these receipts, so let’s deconstruct this figure.
On inspection from this list, it appears that $420 million actually represent Mayweather’s cumulative earnings, not his earnings in the past year. OK. Forbes actually says Mayweather made $300 million in the last year, which is still a lotta fuggin’ money indeed. We’ve seen reports that he’s made anywhere between $210 million and $230 million for his May fight against Manny Pacquiao, which in spite of taking place like six years after anyone cared about actually watch them fight and being a boring, onesided display, was the richest fight in the history of the entire universe, grossing $600 million. Let’s call it $220 million.
This still leaves like $80 million, which is still a whole shedload of money. Where’d he get that from?
You’d assume that a celebrity at his status would make the rest on endorsements, but if you remember, Floyd Mayweather beats women, all the time, and may legitimately not know how to read and write. These are two large obstacles, and two big reasons why, according to CNN, he struggles to get endorsements, and why we never see him in commercials.
Against Pacquiao, though, Mayweather was able to wrangle some endorsements: FanDuel, Hublot, and Burger King all ponied up to sell out. Remember this shit?
Once you add up all his The Money Team paraphernalia that he sells to bad people and the fight last September, you’re getting somewhere close to $300 million. OK.
It’s hard to boycott companies that have shady or sinister practices and policies. You’ll end up naked and hungry and then dead or living with the Pennsylvania Dutch in like South Jersey (don’t worry; they’re not reading this). Meanwhile, these companies still won’t be affected because they don’t know you exist and get lots of money from other people. What you ultimately decide to do is between you and the celestial idol(s) of your choosing. So I’ll say only this: Fuck FanDuel. Fuck Hublot. Fuck Burger King. Doublefuck Floyd Mayweather. Ronda, you’re cool.