There’s been a terrible mistake. The AP, ESPN, even the NBA itself—they’re all recording the final score of last night’s Warriors-Grizzlies game as a 119-69 win for the Warriors, but clearly that is the score of some kid’s video game. I mean, ha ha, 119-69, get the fuck outta here, who would even believe that shit.
For chrissakes, didn’t anybody watch the broadcast? Clearly hackers had replaced the arena feed with video of some joker playing NBA 2K on “Pro” difficulty. Who could fall for this?
C’mon. I know the eighth-generation consoles are supposed to be hot shit, but even if the graphics are impressive, the gameplay is all off. Obviously that is a video game. Look at the damn score! Look at “Jeff Green,” doing that little jazz-hands dance step at 0:10 as Steph Curry skips a pass by him—clearly that is a glitch in the game code. This shit isn’t even a very good hack!
By the fourth quarter, the hackers were basically daring somebody—anybody—to notice the gag, subbing out Memphis’s real players for blatantly generic Create-A-Players with names like “Russ Smith” and “Jordan Adams.” They even loaded a throwback DLC to put Vince freaking Carter in the game, and he’s been out of the NBA for like four years. How, how could nobody catch on to this. I have never been more ashamed of our sports media.
(Also, as you can see, using the Warriors in 2K is bullshit. They’re so overpowered it’s practically cheating.)