Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

We Really Want to Visit the Laundromat For Some Reason

In today's edition of Brilliant Timewasting: Rapping Swedish goaltenders, butt-slappin' O'Neals, the best hockey fight of the year, Kevin Durant's Ronald McDonald sneaks, and topless skydivers. We love the Internet so much.

• The submitter of this incredibly NSFW video advertising washing machines with topless skydivers asked us if skydiving was a sport. It is today, submitter; it is today. [Sox and Dawgs]

• Jermaine O'Neal's alleged ex doesn't like his abuse of her rear guard. [Sportaphile]

• Jeanne Zelasko wants to be a play-by-play MLB announcer since Fox cut the pre-game show she hosted. [Vent About Sports]

• Sweden's backup national goalie tried out for Sweden Idol. His music career is going just as well as his hockey career. [Going Five Hole]

• Speaking of hockey, please enjoy this grand demonstration of stamina, skill, and power. Unfortunately, no hockey will be in this clip; just fighting. [The Sporting Blog]

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• Finally... sweet Jesus, Kevin Durant. Do you design your shoes in the dark? [Bend It Like Bennett]

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