Welcome to the party, pal: NFL owners finally see Stan Kroenke as same waste of human flesh the rest of us do

LA Rams owner trying to skip out on legal fees after skipping out on St. Louis

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Rams owner Stan Kroenke, seen here looking like he’s about to flash a group of horrified college students
Rams owner Stan Kroenke, seen here looking like he’s about to flash a group of horrified college students
Photo: Getty Images

NFL owners are aghast that noted scumbag Stan Kroenke is trying to back out on the bill for a lawsuit related to his shameless, fraudulent, and clearly illegal move of the Rams from St. Louis back to LA.

At an NFL owners-only meeting, tempers flared among old white guys. I’m sure there was some guffawing, a few eye rolls, and maybe even an animated shrug over Kroenke trying to bypass his indemnification agreement.


Having just learned what an indemnification agreement is/wanting to use it in a sentence, in this case it was basically a promise to compensate fellow owners for costs related to Kroenke’s pending lawsuit filed by the St. Louis Regional Convention and Sports Complex Authority over losses due to moving the team to LA in 2016. The lawsuit is now in its fourth year, and all 32 NFL teams have racked up legal fees as a result, with some franchises reaching eight-figure bills.

Alright, so now that we know what happened, let’s take a moment to bask in the warmth of bad things happening to worse people (and not get mad at the fact that they can afford it).


I have a hard time feigning outrage over owners getting bilked out of legal fees. Of course that’s what they’re mad about, not the real transgression: This jackass moving the team on shady terms. Jerry Jones took Kroenke’s side and even went as far as to praise him for being a good partner and returning the NFL to LA. Puke.

It’s obvious how far removed from reality these owners are when you consider how much fans of Kroenke-owned teams hate him. We — I’m a former St. Louis Rams fan/current NFL atheist — have known this for awhile. What about a guy who dresses like a Peaky Blinders character says “trustworthy”? (It’s London, Stan, not the 1920s.)

Fans of the Colorado Avalanche and Denver Nuggets are in a third season of only being able to watch their teams on Direct TV because Comcast and DISH Network are at odds with Kroenke-owned Altitude TV. This is the best Nuggets team probably ever, with the reigning MVP, and the Avs came into the season with lofty expectations of their own, but Kroenke could give a fuck.

If you think my feelings are extreme, ask Arsenal fans what they think of their American owner. Allowing him to run one of the most prestigious English soccer clubs is a really unfunny version of Ted Lasso. (The mustache isn’t charming if you suck.) And I haven’t even mentioned the European Super League fiasco.


For the record, I’m not giving any owner an exemption; I’m just saying out of the 32 in the NFL, he’s the evilest of 32 evils. Honestly, trying to screw Bob Kraft and co. out of millions might be my favorite thing he’s ever done.

In a room full of some indisputably loathsome people, to stand out as the most heinous of them all is a true accomplishment. Happy birthday, Stanley, I hope you choke on an eclair.