On Monday, a crew from the city of Huntington, W. Va. cut down a tree that residents nearby determined was potentially dangerous after a storm blew a branch through the windshield of a parked car. Unfortunately, the crew’s approach to their job was rather negligent and the tree fell on top of a different car that belonged to a Marshall University student.

Witnessing this act was a local man named Billy Tatum, a man who I want to narrate every terrible experience in my life to ease the pain. In an interview with Huntington’s WSAZ, Tatum gave an excellent description of what he saw and how the impact of the tree hitting the vehicle sounded.

Transcript:

“It sounded like a beer can getting flattened,” Tatum said. “It just was ‘crunch.’ I hate to say it, but it was kind of cool, you know? What guy doesn’t like destruction. That’s why we go to demolition derbies, but hey, the bottom line is that’s that girl’s new car, and she can’t get to school now.”

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Contrary to Tatum’s claim, the student will be able to get to school as she’s being given a rental car from the city after an official admitted negligence on the part of the crew.