What Has Two Middle Fingers And Loves College Baseball?

Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

* South Carolina crunched UCLA in Game 1 of the College World Series final. This young lady had her own agenda, however. [ESPN]

* A new study suggests that left-handed pitchers are more injury prone than right-handers. Serves 'em right. Freaks. [Reuters]

* Carlos Zambrano must learn to master his rage, before his rage becomes his master. [Chicago Breaking Sports]

* After 18 long years, a young man earns redemption by finally getting to tackle the taco. (Not a euphemism!) [San Antonio Express-News]

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I can see the finish line from here. Unfortunately, I can't hail a cab to take me there.