The trips to player's hometowns, the chance to light up the eyes of youth hockey teams—all that comes later. For now, the Stanley Cup is staying in LA and it's going out to get wasted every night.

Members of the Kings took the Cup to Beacher's Madhouse last night, home of the "midget bar," and naturally TMZ was on the scene. There were little people, some woman with enormous breasts, and Chuck Liddell, because of course. The "keepers of the Cup" don't wear those white gloves because it's some sacred and unsullied object; they wear them because they're afraid to touch the damn thing.