The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the fine people at cut through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allows us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?

Week 9 winner: Pittsfield, Mass.

Watching great teams do their thing is usually fun; watching them wipe the floor with inferior opponents usually isn't. Vegas has Denver at -4, Baltimore at -3.5, and Miami at -1.5. Houston is -11.5 over Buffalo, tied for the week's biggest favorite.

But Pittsfield (in Western Mass.) is pretty close to New York State-it's probably in the Bills market, right? Here are the closest NFL cities to Pittsfield:

  • Foxborough (136 miles)
  • New York (146 miles)
  • Philadelphia (255 miles)
  • Buffalo (324 miles)

This is (bye-week) Patriots territory, and the Bills are an AFC opponent, but then WHY NOT JUST PLAY THE MUCH BETTER DOLPHINS GAME? Pittsfield is trapped in the Albany TV market, aka the ninth level of hell, that's why.


Everyone gets Steelers-Giants for the CBS late game. This has the potential to be a great matchup, except people in Pittsfield are almost certainly Pats fans … so fuck both these teams.


Ugly slate of games on Fox this week, but some great opportunities for schadenfreude. Will the Bears (or Lions) blow it against a mediocre opponent? Will the exciting, mobile rookie quarterback of today embarrass the exciting, mobile rookie quarterback of yesterday? God I hope so, and I want to watch every second of it.


Pittsfield gets stuck with the second expected blowout of the week. The Packers, winners of three straight, are -11.5 over Arizona, losers of four straight. These are the sorts of games that just bum people out.