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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Which World Cup Coach Hit On Jemele Hill?

Illustration for article titled Which World Cup Coach Hit On Jemele Hill?

The sultry Ms. Hill had the moves put on her by a World Cup coach yesterday. She shut him down, but refuses to name the would-be Casanova. We look at the candidates.

Hill was in a bar late last night, when a Spanish-speaking coach strolled in, chatted her up, and asked for her room number. That's all we know. But there's only so many Hispanophone coaches in South Africa, so let's examine them.

Gerardo Martino, Paraguay. Replete with swarthy Latin charm. But his team is in between matches in Cape Town and Polokwane, while from Hill's photos, we know she's staying in Johannesburg.


Oscar Tabárez, Uruguay. Had his chance, as coach of the Uruguayans in the 1990 World Cup. After being surrounded by Italian women for a month, I doubt he's even bothering with the scene in South Africa.

Marcelo Bielsa, Chile. Had a morning match in Nelspruit. Unlikely that he was trolling the Jo'burg bars the night before.

Reinaldo Rueda, Honduras. Same as above.

Vicente del Bosque, Spain. Preparing for today's game in Durban. Logistically improbable for him to crack onto Hill last night, then make it to Durban in time. Although, judging from the The Red Fury's performance against Switzerland, it's entirely possible they were playing without a coach.


Javier Aguirre, Mexico. Nicknamed "El Vasco" for his Basque heritage. Probably would have come on to Hill in Euskara rather than Spanish.

Diego Maradona, Argentina. Admit it, this was the first name that came to mind. The circumstantial evidence certainly lines up. Both of the Argies' first two matches are in Johannesburg. Divorced, and admitted in his autobiography he was often unfaithful. He remains overweight despite a cocaine habit and lap-band surgery, obviously showing poor self-control.


There you have the evidence. Decide for yourself whether Hill turned down the chance to be touched by the Hand of God.

How do you say 'hook up' in Spanish? []

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