Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Here's an unbylined story on the Dallas Morning News's website, about one of those stupid petitions on This one calls for President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Cowboys.

We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch's immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.


Lots of you have sent this to us, as well as other sports-related petitions, so we'll take the opportunity to state our official position: please stop sending us these. They are about as binding as all those state secession petitions following the election. Anyone can create one—they are the latest iteration of "funny Wikipedia edit" or "funny Craigslist posting," all of which are precisely equivalent to "Some Guy Writes Thing."

What type of person A) takes the time to sign one of these things and B) thinks it'll make a difference? Well, half the comments below the Morning News post are people asking how they can sign the petition, even though there's a link to it in the story.

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