Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

White Sox Create Hellish Artifact

Why an alarm clock that wakes you up by having Hawk Harrelson scream “You can put it on the board ... YESSSS!” at you exists I just can’t tell you, though Paul Skrbina of the Chicago Tribune has reported that we came close to living in a reality where the clock yelled “You gotta be bleepin’ me!” at you. What I can tell you is that thanks to generous reader Keenan, I can confirm that this is a real thing that exists in the actual world.

Disclosure: The author of this piece has been provided Gordon Beckham’s used footwear by the Chicago White Sox, and has been sent a Hawk Harrelson alarm clock by a White Sox enthusiast. His opinions are his own.


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About the author

Tim Marchman

Editor at Special Projects Desk