Chicago did everything it could to bring the Olympics home....or did it? After all that time, effort and money wasted, someone needs to pay—and there are plenty of places to point your fingers. So let's assign some blame!
There are many, many theories as to what went wrong and from where we sit, they are all equally plausible. Here's are the leading contenders for the big albatross.
Barack Obama: President Hopenchange thought he could he swoop in at the last minute, give a fancy speech and bring the Games back to his "adopted" city. Well, guess what? No one likes adopted kids—or grandstanding prima donnas who want to punch the ball in at the goal line after someone else carried it the first 99 yards. Who do you think you are? Mike Alstott?
George W. Bush: Apparently when you spend the better part of a decade lighting all your bridges on fire, the rest of the globe sort of frowns on that.
Foreigners: Hey, how about a little gratitude for burning all those bridges for you! Eh, they would have just snuck into the country illegally and taken all those construction jobs anyway.
Richard Daley: The poster child for nepotistic cronyism should have been a natural leader in the nepotistic crony-filled backrooms of the International Olympic Committee. "Maybe the 'machine' isn't working," said Sisay Abebe, 51, of Rogers Park.
Rod Blagojevich: How can the world ever take Illinois seriously after they elected that hairdo to govern them?
Roving gangs of murderous thugs: Man, if only those teenagers hadn't hit that kid in the head with a railroad tie and then stomped him to death, all of the city's problems could have magically been erased. Rio has all the luck!
Michael Jordan: Some citizens believed that the professional hoops star who came from North Carolina and ran back there as soon as his career ended could have saved the bid if only he had spoken up. Of if he hadn't insulted Juan Antonio Samaranch in his Hall Of Fame speech!
The Cubs: Some supporters at today's rally carried around signs with a blue "W" on them—the Cubs "victory symbol." "When have those signs ever brought victory?" Andrew Cooper of Chicago asked. "We didn't need that stupid curse on our bid."
Public congratulations, private introspection [Chicago Breaking News]
[Photo of the Chicago fire via the Tribune]