Yeah, Red Smith Totally Used To Eat Weird Crap

OK, so we were just watching the rerun of this morning's episode of ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" — we can only watch the same "SportsCenter" so many times before our soul starts to collapse into powder — and we saw Hometown Columnist Woody Paige eat a whole canister of dog food.

Putting aside the obvious "Fear Factor" comparisons — we're not sure how well "Cold Pizza" comes across in that matchup, though, for the record — we're still trying to figure out how the segment was even imagined. They were saying something about the San Diego Padres, and how they were either dog food or bologna, and it wasn't making any sense, and then, out of nowhere, Woody Paige started eating dog food. We didn't imagine this, did we?

You can't find this kind of analysis on the Outdoor Life Network, that's for damned sure. Hey, when's ESPN head honcho Mark Shapiro leaving again? Saturday? Thank God.

"Cold Pizza" [Official Site] Hometown Columnist Woody Paige [Deadspin]