Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

You Get Your Money for Nothing and Extra Yao for Free

Illustration for article titled You Get Your Money for Nothing and Extra Yao for Free

Two double-overtime games, one overtime game, and one game apiece where either offense or defense was played in the L last night.

• Atlanta 129, Chicago 117. Memo to all NBA teams: we saw last night's game in Chicago and we just wanted to verify that it's totally legal to play defense against the Atlanta Hawks and not get out-rebounded by 10. (Also, special memo to Vinny Del Negro: 42 minutes for Derrick Rose? Do you mind if he makes it to season two? Thanks.)

• San Antonio 106, Memphis 103. San Antonio is now 3-0 in double-overtime games this season, to which we must respond: is this a team that really needs more time on the floor? Isn't this what Big Shot Broger there for? Why didn't... 0 points in 31 minutes? Wow. Roger Mason, Jr. may be the butterfly that flaps its wings furiously with absolutely no effect.


• Houston 120, Utah 115. These two teams combined for 10 points in the first overtime and 33 (!) in the second additional frame. Houston shot a lousy 39% from the floor but took 20 more free throws than the home team. Utah will solicit assistance from anyone taller than 6'9" for the next month.

• New Jersey 114, Charlotte 103. We can't imagine why Charlotte would run out of steam in overtime. After all, Larry Brown used exactly one person off the bench for any decent run (and that only after a strained groinological region for Raja Bell), which is just spoiling today's athletes, really.

• Detroit 87, Milwaukee 76. On the other hand, a 10-man rotation yielded only 76 points against the Pistons for the Bucks. And here we thought shoving Tyronn Lue, Dan Gadzuric, Luke Ridnour, Malik Allen, and Joe Alexander onto the floor would be an offensive bonanza. (Seriously? An NBA team did that? We assume undocumented cases of Legionnaires' disease are at fault here.)

Also receiving votes: Washington 104, Oklahoma City 95; Orlando 118, Minnesota 94; Portland 102, Toronto 89. (Jason Kapono: 0 points in 30+ minutes, joining Roger Mason, Jr. in the Impotent Butterfly Club.)

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