For those of you who don't plan on using tonight's night off from major sporting events to, you know, heading outside or perhaps conversing with loved ones, you should know that tonight, everyone's favorite Not Really That Attractive But Unusually Loud baseball wife Anna Benson will be appearing on "The O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News.
The conversation will no doubt focus primarily on:
• What to do instead of sitting on your fat ass collecting welfare.
• "Loofa Things." (Or, say, "falafels.")
• "Magniloquent diarrhea."
• "Dorks" who "hug fucking trees."
• Pretty much anything involving ripping the flesh off an animal and letting its blood drip down your chin while its shrieks lessen in volume until, with a final muted gasp, it mercifully meets a timely death.
• New Orioles pitching coach Leo Mazzone.