"You Know Tom Coughlin Will Not Be Happy About That": Your NFL Early Games Open Thread

Well, it's week three. Our third open thread date. Things are starting to get hot and heavy. Giants-Eagles, Packers-Bears and....Dolphins-Browns? Let's get to it, and as a reminder, we'll be approving just about anyone and his/her/its uncle in the comments of these open threads, so chime in if you've got something to say.

Houston at New Orleans (CBS): Everyone is excited about Wade Phillips and the Texans' defense. Then the Saints roll in to town. Or, the Texans roll in to the Saints' town. Whatever, they're going to get smoked.

NY Giants at Philadelphia (FOX): Lots of story lines in this one: Vick's concussion, the (other) Steve Smith drama and, of course, the rotting corpse that is the Giants roster. I bet from this one game alone, someone could create a giant mosaic of an exasperated Tom Coughlin out of tiny little pictures of an exasperated Tom Coughlin. Poor guy's never happy about much of anything, is he?

Jacksonville at Carolina (CBS): Expansion buddies! These teams entered the league together in 1995 and basically nobody cares. Cam Newton is playing for the Panthers though, so we might see another 400+ yard game. Maybe even a win!

New England at Buffalo (CBS): Ryan Fitzpatrick is apparently the son of a rocket scientist. Shockingly, both he and his dad think the Bills can win today - not exactly brain surgeons.

Miami at Cleveland (CBS): Each respective team uniform is perfectly emblematic of its city's vibe. Pastel, outrageous and tacky vs. drab and disgusting. Good times.

San Francisco at Cincinnati (CBS): We've all heard about the gamesmanship involved in football - like Lawrence Taylor sending hookers to opposing teams - but this takes it to a whole new level, Northern California.

Denver at Tennessee (CBS): Fictional Character Associated With the Region Game Simulator informs us that Mr. Wendal was no match for a bumbling, stumbling and rumbling Gilligan. A three hour tour de force, if you will. Denver wins big, little buddy.

Detroit at Minnesota (FOX): Will this be the game Matthew Stafford's osteoporotic frame gives out on him? Can the Lions really go to 3-0? Will Jim Schwartz be featured in the latest GI Joe film? Does the following bit of wishful thinking make any sense? "...the Vikings have a new offensive and special-teams coordinator and a defensive coordinator who is entering his third game with the full-time role. While that has made it tougher for the players to perform cohesively at the start of the season, it might also make things a little more difficult for Detroit's game-planning purposes..." You be the judge.

Via The 506. CBS (Late games included):

FOX: