You Will Never Unsee Morgan Moses's Hasty Right Leg

I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especially diseased among us, paying close attention to the action, will have noticed Washington’s right tackle, Morgan Moses, getting away with a false start on the play, as he urgently retreated into protection against Chicago’s fearsome pass rush:

This move—chopping his outside foot ahead of the snap in order to get a jump in protection out of a two-point stance—is apparently something of a Moses specialty, as noted by Washington fans on Twitter. Perhaps NFL referees are overwhelmed by the frequency of the move and, as with aggressive defensive backfields of yore, are now conditioned to call only the most egregious examples. Point is, once you’ve noticed Moses’s twitchy right leg, in very short order it becomes all you can see whenever his team has the ball. I have been unable to take my eyes off that damn leg for any Washington offensive snap all game.

If this were a drinking game, you’d be drunk as hell by the start of the second half. To be fair, there are worse things to focus on whenever Washington has the football. Like, for example, literally anything else the offense is doing. The job of keeping Khalil Mack from devouring Case Keenum like that Goya painting of Cronus eating his son is stressful and nearly impossible, and there are worse ways of coping than trying to get a jump on the snap. Alas, even that is failing, miserably.