You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Dusty

It's Opening Day, and that means it's time to play "What's Your Caption?"

• "Don't worry about your son. I used to run wild as a kid too, and you'll never believe what I ended up doing." • Right behind them, Sammy Sosa hides, waiting for the coast to clear so he can get the hell out of here. • Somewhere, Kanye West sighs. Maybe he'd been wrong about the man. • "OK, Mr. President, take a deep breath ... now cough."