Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing

Did you know propecia could be used to mask commonly exploited performance-enhancing drugs? But here's why (besides, like, duh?) to "just say no" to this "folly of follicles", courtesy top-ranked "skeleton racer" Zach Lund

(That is right, we putatively care about sports like "skeleton racing" right now because a whole four years have passed since the last time all those sports they made up so they would have something to air between ice dancing competitions: it's Olympics Time!)

Advertisement

And four years ago this winter, "skeleton racer" Zach Lund — hey, he is cute — was the favorite to win a gold medal in this particular sport, but then he tested positive for propecia.

"Well duh!" he said. "I have been on that shit since high school… " (Aw.)

"My biggest insecurity my whole life was my hair," Lund tells today's Times.

But four years (and "text messages" of encouragement, touching) Zach is now liberated from his enslavement to the wholly unachievable standards of beauty perpetuated by the media to sell habit-forming pharmaceuticals and sundry other high-margin consumer goods: "Now, without hair," he tells the Times, "I'm as secure as I've ever been."

And also — and this may be a factor in the aforementioned "secure" thing — much more doable without hair, are you with me on this?

At any rate, in case I have to spell out the "servicey" element here: men, don't use bonerkilling hair-restoration drugs, even if you are not a "professional athlete" who is also by the way tall, because no woman has really given a shit about a dude's hair since 1994, when Zach Lund probably got the idea to take propecia from that Liz Phair song or something.

Advertisement

(Also: apologies on the late post. "Weather-related" internet problems, etc.)

Share This Story