Get A Job With ESPN Through The Comments

So you know how pretty much every page on ESPN.com has a "conversation" element anymore? (Except, of course, for Simmons' columns. But that's probably your/our/all-of-our fault. Sorry.) Well, that includes the ESPN Job Postings page, which leads to some awfully amusing comments.

Here are two of our favorites:

ok so all my friends say i should go work for espn, i just graduated from college, and really not sure i am ever going to use my degree. i watch 1st and 10 and cold pizza/ 1st take everyday, or as much as my work schedule lets me, i've even been called a walking stat machine i try to watch all the stump the schuab shows and act like i am a contestant, i would rate fairly competitve w/ the contestant and the schuab. my passion are football(college and pro) basketball college prefered heavily over pro's but i stay knowledgeable about the pro's, livin in the south i'm forced to know nascar, and hockey(canes country) go flyers. baseball is what i grew up lovin, and watching everyday, well every sunday and wednesday night. if i was a coach i would dress like bill bel. anyone know of a job for a person like me? i play fantasy sports 2 4 football teams 3 basebal lteams a year and 1-2 of everyother sport. (watch out aundrae allison is going to be the best WR pick from last years class. 5th round to minny.. go pirates( who beat boise state) arggg

And:

i dont want to work at ESPN. that is probably why you are advertising at ESPN for these positions to be filled. i mean Bristol Conneticut? isn't that cold up there? what is happening in Bristol when your not at the ESPN office? im sure the people are nice. but then again people are nice everywhere. thats america for you. i am not a web designer nor have i been to school for it either. i just love major league sports. i love talking major league sports. i like to play sports video games and such. what i would like is a position with ESPN where i could write a fans opinionated article each day or week about whatever topic i want to write about. of course most of my opinions would have to be followed by the "these opinions are not those of ESPN and are not affiliated to ESPN" message. i am just a little raw. i would write stuff that your employees get fired for. i will however send you my opinions totally free so i wouldnt be affilliated by ESPN and therefor get you guys in trouble. my opinions are often based on historical facts that the readers could look up. like one of my theories would help NFL teams know which wide receivers werent going to do as well as projected in the NFL. like i knew calvin johnson wasnt the next coming of any great receivers before anybody drafted him. and then my team had to draft and spend all that money on him. exactly where did matt millen develope his philosophy on the draft. champions are made from WR's?

That one's from "miamisam," who, we're certain, was hired within a matter of minutes.

Actually, ESPN does have an HR-type person, "Hamilogre," who goes into the comments and answers job queries. "Hamilogre" is actually Austin Hamilton, who has perhaps the least ironic site we've ever read. He is a Buzzsaw fan, though, so he's good with us.

ESPN Job Postings
Austin Hamilton

(UPDATE: As Austin points out on his site, he is "not an HR person; I'm a technical producer." Good to know!)