Deadspin
We could go into a ton of detail about the Duke-North Carolina game last night, how Duke is probably the best team in the country right now just a year after a first-round tournament upset, or about how Coach K is able to adjust and elude irrelevance in a way Bob Knight wasn't able to late in his career, but we're gonna hold off on that, because, sheesh, what do we know? Instead we're going to talk about Dick Vitale.
Vitale returned from his throat surgery last night for the Duke-UNC game, and we were reminded once again how much we absolutely cannot stand him ... and how much we had missed him. Some people might go a bit overboard on this — "Vitale's return - with that first in-depth, technical analysis you can only get from Vitale, the diagnosis of a play that begins and ends with "Ohhhhhhhh!!!!" - sounded like one of the classics. Dylan singing "Like a Rolling Stone." Lennon doing "Imagine." Vitale shouting "Super! Scintillating! Sensational!" — but it's impossible to deny that a Duke-UNC game would feel different without Vitale's signature brand of screaming, idiocy and Duke fellatio. All of college basketball would. Those who say Vitale is owed a considerable amount of credit for college basketball's explosion over the last 15 years sound correct to us: When our Illini team of 1989, with Nick Anderson, Kenny Battle and Kendall Gill, busted out, it was Vitale whose voice we would all imitate while playing basketball in the back yard. "The Flying Illini, Baby!"
Of course, we were 13 years old, and 13-year-olds are stupid. Vitale is a guy that's vital to the game, and we're happy he's back, doing what he loves. It's not quite right without him. We're still not taking the TV off mute.
Grating? Sure, But It's Great To Hear Vitale's Voice [Northwest Herald]
Comments
Dick Vitale's voice causes aural poisoning. The man raped my earhole.
If you lived in the ACC area, you ended up with Billy Packer. Hello mute button.
NIBBLES!!!!
I wouldn't describe Vitale as "vital" to anything, except bad announcing.
ESPN Dick Vitale > Raycom Billy Packer. No. Doubt. About it.
"Stacey, I thought you were going to give me a recipe for lasagna! Instead, you give me rivalry for a...recipe for a rivalry! Tradition, geography! What about lasagna, baby!"
All I know is that man will likely die during one of these games and i wonder if ESPN will use the 5 second delay to cut it out.
I've always kept the t.v. on mute during Vitale broadcasts. Last night, I listened to the whole game.
This morning, I had a green bowel movement.
You think there's any connection?
As much as loathe Vitale, what other announcer can you have call your friends?
[digiorno.varitalk.com]
I always hated the term "diaper dandies," because it made me think of shit and piss.
How can you believe that Redick is a better 3-pt shooter than Salim Stoudamire!? I still can't respect a man who believed that and said it on national television. I mean, come on, Redick drinks Zima while Salim smoked blunts and slept with those U of A ho bags.
I actually own an autographed Dick Vitale card. Seriously.
R-r-r-r-rrrredick is a BITCH!
/"This is Why You Suck" video...you shant be disappointed!
Kevin Hart just announced he needs throat surgery.
Poor Dicky V...
@Beer-Fart: You couldn't be more wrong. C'mon...it's right there in his name!! Dick Vital-e. Sheesh.
I get the feeling that Dickie V. is a genuinely nice guy, while Billy Packer might be the most miserable SOB in the business. I'd hate to think what his "Berman Video" moment might look like.
Nice to see Dick Vitale back, in something other than creepy, perverted Hooters commercials.
But honestly, what a shit game that was last night.
@TomahawkFlop: Amen brothers. I'd rather have Vitale's histrionics instead of Billy Packer's asshatery.
@The Man with No Name: I second that. His senior year was one of the most absurd shooting clinics I've ever seen (over 50% from 3) and it was totally lost amidst the moans of pleasure from Bilas and Vitale whenever somebody mentioned Redick's name. Tools.
@The Gentleman Masher: Agreed. I am in ACC country and was forced to put up with the Packer. I'd rather have someone who's excited about the game than my pissed-off granddad who hopes both teams lose.
@Dead Wrestlers Society: If you live in Charlottesville, you not only got Packer, but you also got the game with 56k modem quality video.
If four people moved at once, the picture stopped for buffering
Packer calls each game like both teams are responsible for his impacted colon, and all the metamucil in the world won't help.
The 7PM game between Syracuse and UCONN was a better game than Duke/UNC.
@UkraineNotWeak: I have never really seen the Syracuse stadium before, but I thought it was just awesome how they just roll in bleachers into an 'endzone' of the stadium. Very patchwork. Very Big East. It was a great game, though.
The thirteen year old in me is offended by this post. The thirteen year old in me has forgotten about this post in order to masturbate to a (the?) Samantha Fox video.
Ahh, the 1989 University of Illinois Flyin' Illini. Great team, one of the four best in the country, one of the two best in the Big Ten. I still think that Illinois' 1989 National Semifinal game is one of the most underrated games of the decade.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:
Bobby McFerrin raped my uncle.
@MattinglysSideburns:
If you worry, you make it double.
/true story
I was in Chicago the summer after the Illini won the 'ship. I was shopping at a sporting goods store and some one ran out shoplifting. Kenny Battle ran him down and held the guy until the cops came and arrested him. I was a kid and I thought that guy was god.
/true story
duke is most certainly NOT the "best team in the country". they took a lot of 3s and made a lot, and benefitted from an opponent missing their first and second string point guards.
if the ncaa ever gets around to moving the 3 point line back from its current junior high distance, coach k's entire approach to basketball will be in danger.
As soon as I saw it wasn't Marv Albert and Bucky Waters, I just turned my old Philco off.
@Miguel Cowbrera:
I think you mean the summer after the Illini lost in the Final Four?
@Yostal:
Marcus Liberty > Statue of Liberty
@calmasacucumber: if the ncaa ever gets around to moving the 3 point line back from its current junior high distance, coach k's entire approach to basketball will be in danger
Moves to 20-9 next year. Duke'll still have about 5 players that can shoot from the perimeter effectively. Your tears will also still taste sweet, like a Toblerone.
He used to sometimes come into the restaurant where I worked in Gainesville when he was doing a game there. Actually a really nice guy, made me feel badly for hating him.
@MDT:
My thoughts were that if Carolina enlisted a perimeter defense at all, Duke might have not made as many threes. Give 3 white boys space to shoot, I'll give you a lot of made threes.
The game was a thrilla last night, even with Dickie's braying.
But as much as I love the college game, the insistance on chucking up no-chance shots and the complete, dumbfounding inability of anyone to shoot a free-throw is always annoying. Does anyone have an explaination for this?
@cardboardbelt:
See Duke-Maryland, 2001 at Maryland.
@cardboardbelt: Not to worry, I'm a master of the free throws.
/Jackie Moon.
I'd rather give myself a barium enema than listen to Vitale's endless fauning over Duke.
@TomahawkFlop: Yeah. That's what killed Carolina against Maryland, too. My point up there was that I didn't see the 3-point pushback doing anything but helping Duke next year, given that they're going to be one of the teams that can still stretch the floor effectively and Coach K, for the first time I can recall in a while, is actually adjusting to his personnel.
Biggest key to the game wasn't Carolina's D, though... it was Green and Ellington no-showing and defensive help that stopped everybody (except Hansblow, who admittedly had a great game) on the inside. I was so worried this season about the lack of a big man, but the defense has stepped up and stopped the ball from getting in enough to make this team effective. Beating Gist and Osby last week and Carolina's inside three this week... that feels good. Needless to say I'm sure this team, having elevated my expectations to "unrealistic", will break my heart in the NCAAs.
I just woke up with a "drink to make Packer's voice stop" hangover. It is not pleasant.
@MattinglysSideburns: Dayum. that's just pitiful.
@cardboardbelt: Probably because the three point line is barely further out than the foul line.
Also, how about all those charges last night? You'd think neither team had ever heard of going around a defender.
Dick proclaimed last night, "I went up to this kid who's a junior and just verbally committed to North Carolina and said, 'I don't know you, I don't know if you can play, but if North Carolina will take you, you can play.'" If I were Kevin Hart, I'd be a long way from Nevada about now too.
Those of us with the ACC regional coverage got to enjoy the first segment of the game without any play-by-play or color announcing. No "iron unkind" from Brando, no in-depth second-guessing from Packer, just crowd music and the whooshing of the graphics.
It was awesome.
Then they go to commercial and the local station dumps the HD feed and substitutes in the blurry-vision low-def with Brando and Packer.
I almost called the station and told them I wanted my quiet HD feed back. Packer and Brando add nothing to the game, and from what I heard over at aa.com, Mike Patrick sounded flustered and couldn't say "rivalry" without tripping over his words. It must have been his concern about Britney Spears being back on the streets.
@The Gentleman Masher: Pacekr probably executed a puppy in his and then proceeded to use an American flag to clean up the mess.
@The Man with No Name:
It also was nice to have a guy (even with the blunts and occasional skanky Alpha Phi) that could drain anything from outside, drive to the hole and pull back for a jumper (ask ASU fans and Oklahoma State fans about this) and play a little defense.
Salim led the nation with 50.4 percent shooting while Redick was 39th. Nice call Vitale.
What about Stephen Bardo?....baby.
it was fantastic that i spent the evening at a karaoke bar...so i could see the glory that was that basketball game without having to hear Dickie V be obnoxious.
win all around.
@katolesce: It wasn't dark blue?
@MDT:
I must admit, I haven't watched much of Duke this season b/c I was so turned off by the team last year. This year's team has done a 180 and they really know how to play basketball. Coach K has done a great job adjusting his team to its strengths instead of trying to coach the team to his will. I still can't stand little Hurley though.
@TomahawkFlop: Agree with all points - but I'm still worried that this team is essentially the 2004 team without JJ and Sheldon - no go-to shooter in the clutch, no big man to own the boards, and no ability to play physical ball ... meaning Sweet 16 is the ceiling.
I don't think Duke is the best team in the country either, but discounting their win over Carolina because they were "missing their first and second string point guards" is ridiculous.
INJURIES ARE PART OF SPORTS. Duke beat Carolina last night. Make all of the excuses you want, but you can't say that Carolina is a better team because they weren't at full strength. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. You can say that Carolina will be a better team at the end of the season, or that they were a better team a week ago. But INJURIES ARE PART OF SPORTS. That's a fact.
Also, I have to throw this out there - the only thing worse than obnoxious Duke fans are obnoxious Duke haters. Dickie V loves Carolina too. Greg Paulus is not the Antichrist. Homophobic slurs aren't cool. Man, I hate the internet sometimes.