Fire Dusty!

Dusty Baker hasn't returned until you can see the smoke coming out of the shoulder of some top pitching prospect.

If LaRussa had any balls, he'd have a scrub bean Baker in the dugout. I'm so sorry, Reds fans. But on the bright side, Joe Nuxhall may become the Minnie Minoso of pitchers this year.

Emmitt Smith thinks Dusty might be using the wrong word in that sentence.

Baker said he sometimes sits in his office staring into space, pondering and pontificating over things of this nature, "And sometime I just sit here and nothing comes."

So Baker is a deadspinner?

/back to pontificating

...and Neifi Perez will be your shortstop. Enjoy Reds fans.

Bailey's shredded noodle would go great with some chili, diced onions and cheddar cheese.

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: And some times I just...
//fixed.
//Shits pants.

I didn't know Martin Lawrence had a twin.

Isn't that what our President does as well, but in the Oval Office?

This explains the Jerry Hairston signing.

There's a lot of thought involved in coming up with a satisfactory lineup that won't clog the bases.

"And sometime I just sit here and nothing comes."

Maalox, good sir, will do the trick.

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: I do an awful lot of sitting, and a great deal of nothing. But one of the things that I do very infrequently in the office is pontificating.

I guess he'll just fade in bolivian this season.

I misread that as Homer's Baby arm.

Yikes.

Well, to be fair, he does have a brain clogging up his head.

"And sometime I just sit here and nothing comes."

They've got pills for that now Dusty.

God his son grew up quick.

I can't believe Marge Schott hired a negro!

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Its the black Eddie Gaedel

Sometimes I shits and pontificate, other times I just shits.

Here's some fun, Reds fans: Which will last longer: Junior Griffey's knees or Homer Bailey's arm?

Send your answers to firedustythedumbass.com*

*-may not be a live site, yet.

@Peter Cavan: Emmitt says, "Somepin's wrong with Dusty's vocabumalary there."

Pontificating is nice if you can do something with it, otherwise you're just clogging up the metaspaces.

@PeteJayhawk: Corso is alone with that distinction, though Jeff Reed and Sean Salisbury have tried.

"And sometime I just sit here and nothing comes."

Get that guy some Ex-Lax.

"And sometime I just sit here and nothing comes."

I find it helps to bring a book.

There's just nothing on Dusty's mind grapes.

Ponderous, fucking ponderous.

/Kasem

If Dusty's having trouble staying "regular", he could use the Ned Yost approach and drink 25 cups of coffee a day....that's right, 25 cups of coffee.

[southernledger.com]

What does this have to do with the Yanks and/or Red Sox? Don't all baseball stories have to be related to either of the two or both to matter?

@Its The Beer Talking: And yet he reamins comatose in the dugout. Amazing.

@UkraineNotWeak: All the Mets stories can be found on WebMD.

@UkraineNotWeak: They have to steal the talent form somewhere.

Two Martin Lawrii in one picture - someone knows his Photoshop.

Pontification Face!

@MeSoHornsby: Martin been known to use a stunt double.

let's see:

- dusty the new skipper
- josh hamilton traded away
- jerry hairston

this is probably the worst offseason i could possibly imagine as a reds fan. the only thing i can hope for is that donkey breaks his own strikeouts record.

nibs?

I can't wait until the Reds trade Adam Dunn to Toronto for David Eckstein, Reed Johnson and two other scrappy white players.

It'll be nice to see my team victimizing Dusty's pitching instead of seeing Dusty victimizing my (his) team's pitching.

Now that we've signed him to a minor league contract I wonder if I should say something to Corey Patterson about his propensity to shift to a dead-pull hitter with a lot of strike-outs and...

...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzz*snerk!*...huh?...zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

@Secret Identity: Like I always say - "You can't spell 'SCRAPPY' without 'CRAPPY'."

Barry Bonds wonders if he will good in red...

@Secret Identity:
Like Aaron Hill, Greg Zaun, Marcu Scutaro, Lyle Overbay, Adam Lind, etc. Looks like except for The Big Hurt, Vernon Wells, and Alex Rios the Blue Jays are nothing but scrappy white guys.

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: When he's not getting kicked out of (important) games.

@tater:

Isn't Canada basically a country filled with scrappy white guys?

@thesepretzels: True.

@diddly: I'm sorry sir, this book's been flagged.

@UkraineNotWeak:
Nah they have some mooses too...or is it meese?

who needs Jay Bruce when you've got....Corey Patterson... BWWAAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

@tater: How dare you leave out Sir John McDonald...

@Technicolor Jan Stenerud: Donkey will have to, considering that Dusty once said that walks "clog up the basepaths."

Is that the same son of his that was almost run over the in the World Series not too long ago? Weird.

No wonder all the TV commentators think LaRussa is a genius. The sub-moronic managers in the NL Central can make anyone look like Stephen Hawking in contrast.

Baker, Cooper, Yost and... um, that one guy who sits in the Pirates dugout?

Wow. That is a real meeting of the minds right there.

Forgot Piniella. How could I forget that asshole?

All the pontificating is hard work, which explains why he wears sweat bands on his wrists.

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: If LaRussa had any balls, he'd have a scrub bean Baker in the dugout. I'm so sorry, Reds fans. But on the bright side, Joe Nuxhall may become the Minnie Minoso of pitchers this year.

If Nuxhall pitches in a game this year, I'll give you 100 bucks.