Deadspin
This little lassie just got herself engaged to Andy Roddick (the one on the left.) Her name is Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit exhibitionist, who's been dating Mr. Roddick for a little over a year now. Decker and the former Mr. Mandy Moore met in New York last year, where they somehow managed to not let their hectic professional lives dampen their fiery young love.
Roddick, 25, has already begun fielding questions about his engagement even though he's in the middle of playing in the Masters Series tournament in Key Biscayne. :
Q. So does it feel any different to be an engaged man other than, you know, questions in People Magazine and all that?
ANDY RODDICK: Yeah. I think so. I think it's a life choice, so it is a bit different. I think I lost half my fan base today.
Well, given the astronomical chances of this marriage actually working, we're sure Roddick will regain the fanbase he lost in, oh, a little over a year.
The girl's 20, Andy. She hasn't even grown all of her lady parts yet. (Ed. Note: But she is better at picking NFL games than Paul Zimmerman!) But good luck keeping that gazelle in a cage when you're both traveling nine months out of the year.
(Better non-convenience store picture of Brooklyn Decker below, without the blushing bald guy.)
Andy engaged to Brooklyn Decker [Andy Roddick]
Andy Roddick interview [Tennis X]
Comments
Game. Set. Snatch.
@Camp Tiger Claw: Well played sir, well played.
It looks like her lady parts have come in pretty well so far.
So she works at Staples? Is this what I am gathering?
Wait, women get more lady parts after 20? Which ones?! WHICH ONES, GOD DAMN YOU?!
My god she is stunning.
Can we get a better picture? I can't tell if she has any tits.
That fella can now brag to his friends that there are pictures of him and Brooklyn Decker all over the internet.
@Doyle McPoyle:
My wife is 38 and has lots more parts than she had at 20.
That's a pretty fancy convenience store. Must be a WaWa.
@Camp Tiger Claw:
....and the early favor for Comment of the Bi-Week is.....
Smokin hot chick; Bald dude who makes $6.25/hour
Her lady parts look just fine for my favorite activity: MOTORBOAT!!
Dr. Z has already tapped that, so record me as a no.
I did a double take for a second at that first pic and thought he was engaged to Erin Andrews. Any else see that resemblance? I am just relieved that I don't have to strangle Andy now, he seems like a decent enough fellow.
I'm sure this will last forever just like Agassi and Brooke Shields.
What? Oh. Nevermind.
There's too much cloth in that second picture. And damn, Andy Roddick has gone to Hell in the first one. 2 words, dude, workout tapes.
Andy Roddick is a lot shorter and balder than I thought
I would obviously say: yes, guy...
But she's not the hottest SI girl Roddick could probably get...
/really doesn't care
And I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Brooklyn Decker sounds like one of those ridiculous sex moves, like the Cleveland Steamer, the Dutch Oven, the Boston Massacre, or the Kataroo Kangaroo.
What does the picture of a fan posing with Wallace Shawn have to do with this post?
@Steve Trachsel, Ace: I admire his ability to fake us all out all these years. Flaming Redhead, hell.
Not even Wal-Mart can stop Scott Skiles' game.
Steve Rushin has really fallen since leaving SI.
butterface. (the girl, not the dude.)
How do you say "my life is never going to get better than this" in Klingon?
@Tuffy: Inconceivable!
@Doyle McPoyle: Who exactly have you said this to, and in what context?
@Weed Against Speed: Just a guess, but "Squirt!" comes to mind.
Dear Andy,
Have fun dealing with weirdo loner perverts for the duration of your marriage. As evidence, I'm including this picture of me and Brooklyn.
Signed,
Bald Guy Who Looks Like Steve Rushin And Is Shorter Than Your Fiancee
So it may not last...as long as he protects his money, WHO CARES!!??
There's a "Grand Slam" joke here somewhere, but I just can't find it...
@Strokke: she didn't until she turned 18.
@Camp Tiger Claw: Bravo.
@The Fan's Attic: +1. It looks exactly like him. And if that's his real height, Rebecca Lobo must tower over him.
Brooklyn? I thought Roddick had all his best performances in Queens.
@Weed Against Speed: I believe we have a winner...
I bet he likes giving her the sex. The horny sex.
@Sandy Magic Jackson: Grandmother, Easter dinner. She wholeheartedly agreed!
Call me old-fashioned, but I like my Wal-Mart greeters wrinkly.
Will Jimmy Connors have to show Andy how it's done with this as well? Because he will, if he has to.
@ArkansasFred: A +1 and a Shorti hoagie for you.
@HebrewHammer: I actually think Rushin is fairly tall in that Lobo doesn't tower over him.
They met when she was pegging for beers in the Gas 'N' Sip parking lot.
In his mother's basement, he is quite the Jedi Knight.
The straps on that bikini top look like they are going to give way at any moment.
to say the second picture is "better" than the first may be the understatement of the century.
Hot chick or not, I am still not okay with "Brooklyn" as a first name.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think she's looking all so hot in the SI picture. I mean, it's a little Rock of Love for me...
so when did that beckham kid get a sex change?
@shea_guevara: It's better than their first choice of Staten Island.
Their kid is fucked, no matter which parent's face he/she gets. Probably gonna have monster cans, though.
Clean up, aisle 13! Repeat: clean up, aisle 13.
Kill yourself, bald guy. Just end it right now. Because it ain't getting any better for you. It's all downhill from here.
No Sleep 'Til......Brooklyn?
First pick: Erin Andrew's lil sis
Second pick: Swimsuit model crossed with meth addict
@the earl of weaver: Bring gloves
"Brooklyn Roddick" sounds like a euphemism for a repetitive use injury, no?
@Doyle McPoyle: Dutch Oven a weird sexual maneuver? Jesus, I accidentally wake myself up with it at least twice a week.
/grody
You'd think a world class tennis star could do just a little bit better. I mean, Sampras landed Bridgette Wilson, even with his gigantic brow. Am I the only one here?
Shocked that no one has mentioned the Firehouse-based article tag.
+ Watch video
Awesome
@Doyle McPoyle: Hidden groins?
I'd stick my head in between her two blushing bald guys.
I have always thought this broad was hot, but she looks a little Predator-esqe in that second picture...
@Little Lebowski Urban Achievers: Those both sound like "yes"s to me.
@Paul Zuvella: Blit Meat.
If she has to hook up with a tennis player, I have one suggestion...
Kournikova.
Brooklyn, sir; what up?
Brooklyn Bridge>Brooklyn Decker>Brooklyn Beckham
@BarbarobicsInstructor:
That's what airbrushing pictures will do to ya.