Souvenirs, Novelties, Party Tricks

We've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. We even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, we just can't bring our wife to orgasm.

If you'd like to smell this flower, you're absolutely ready be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here, Chocolate Mousse, to find out how.

• Coors Light • Screw America