Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point.
The subject of his first missive as the Worldwide Leader's Watchdog was ostensibly ("1: in an ostensible manner") about ESPN's foot dragging on the Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault story. And he got there eventually. But first a 1,600-word discourse on the nature of service journalism and why people love to complain.