Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•The Spurs even up their series with a 102-88 win over Dallas, driven by Richard Jefferson's 19 points. Nice of Jefferson to show up for the first time this season. Pretty sure the Spurs had written off Bruce Bowen, Kurt Thomas and Fabrico Oberto as a charitable donation.
•Alex Ovechkin scores twice, and the Capitals head back to Washington, up 3-1. Brace yourselves, DC. The last time Canadiens came to Washington, they...lost in OT. You thought I was going to make a War of 1812 joke there, didn't you?
•Orlando easily handles Charlotte, while Stan Van Gundy rips the schedule makers for too many off days. Well, no wonder. There's nothing to do in Orlando. Hell, even Charlotte's going to be a step up.
•Hey, our first multi-overtime game of the postseason! Miroslav Satan scores a power play goal (after a too many men penalty) seven minutes into the second OT, and Boston goes up 3-1 over the Sabres. Crushing loss for most teams, but this is Buffalo. They'll be throwing a parade tomorrow to celebrate it wasn't worse.
•Phil Hughes carried a no-hitter into the eighth inning, and the Yankees held on to the lead and the best record in baseball. Silly Philip, thinking he belongs in the same conversation as UBALDO.
(Screengrab via this person)
Okay, let's get this day started off right.