Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Rick Reilly writes a column about doing all the things dumb tourists do at the Running of the Bulls. Yahoo's Charles Robinson takes him to task for showing people the wrong way to taunt helpless animals as they're led to their death (because there's definitely a right way). Our take: if you die because Rick Reilly told you to swat a bull on the ass with a newspaper, good riddance from our gene pool.
•Alberto Contador won his third Tour De France, edging out Andy Schleck — again. We don't know where Lance Armstrong finished, because, as he faces fraud and doping investigations when he gets back stateside, he simply pedaled off into the distance, never to be seen again. (Photo from Reddit user, via Midwest Sports Fans).
•Anaheim wins the Dan Haren sweepstakes, sending the Diamondbacks what old-timey baseball folks would call "a steaming pile of shit." The AL West will now be decided by Haren and Cliff Lee firing fastballs at each other at ten paces.
•Tom Brady at the Patriots are reportedly getting closer on a contract extension, one that would keep him in New England for a long long time. That's only because Hollywood doesn't have a team yet.
•The trial of that lady allegedly extorting Rick Pitino starts today. So, if you don't want to hear gross details about Pitino have sex with someone on a restaurant floor, just stay off the Internet for the next few weeks.
Everyone have a good weekend? Good. Time to move on.