A few weeks back, Charles Anderson sent an email with the subject line: "Pats Fans: Now Avail In Creepy." This grabbed my attention, so on I read about how the Patriots bye week affected* New England porn-site traffic.
"According to our Google analytics, Massachusetts–specific traffic to the popular porn site [Tube8.com] increased over twenty percent when the Patriots had their buy week on October 10," wrote Charles. "Now we know what Tommy and the rest of the Massholes were doing when Tom Brady wasn't throwing."
Awesome, right? Well, Charles (who works for said site) was asked to monitor Philadelphia area porn-site use last week, when the Birds had a Sunday to do as they pleased. Here's his report.
• Average Sunday site traffic for greater Philadelphia is 94,061 visits to Tube8.
• When the Eagles are on Sunday afternoon TV, site traffic for greater Philly dips on average to about 83,220; a 12 percent dip.
• [Last Sunday], traffic between the hours of 1:00 pm and 7:00 pm hovered around 88,500 visits for greater Philadelphia: a six percent "Buy Week Porn Bump." About 6,500 Eagles fans preferred porn to the games that were broadcast in Philly.
The more you know.
Keeping with the day's theme, and regarding the Giants at Seahawks game, tipster KD says "Christian Porn Star Jenna Presley" (pictured, sans crucifix) went on the Stern show this week. "Howard asked if Jenna had ever banged any celebrities and she nodded, but refused to name any names other than a former NY Giants fullback, as they weren't paying customers. Since this woman is 23 years old, the fullbacks in question are Greg Comilla, Jim Finn, Madison Hedgecock and Bear Pascoe. My money is on Finn, but Hedgecock would be to coolest answer."
Yes, it would.
Of course, the Dallas at Green Bay game calls to mind front-row lap-dance girl. (And let's be honest: I'm not the only one that hopes she's sitting within Lambeau Leap range tonight. She earned those 350K-plus hits.)
Kansas City and Oakland play too, but whatever. Here's a stripper who won't take a tailgate hint in Philly.
* Yeah, I corrected it. I'll never master affected vs. effected.