Prepare For The Next Big Deadspin Shitstorm

Monday morning, Dec. 20, will mark the beginning of some not-so-relaxing days for a handful of current and former professional athletes, college coaches, and, of course, ESPN employees. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: dying time's here.

Metaphorically speaking, that is. Yes, once again, we're going to start unloading some of the Deadspin almost-stories that we've been sitting on throughout the year that, for multiple reasons, never got published. Some of these almosts were spiked due to the exorbitant prices demanded by the scuzz-money artists. Some had sources clam up and change their minds when things became too intense. Other stories just became moldy real quick and weren't worth the follow-through. But, as far as we know, they're all true.

Of course, we'll have to keep some characters cloaked in not-so-blind items. For the most part, though, you'll get another guided tour of our slaughterhouse, where you can marvel at how carefully we bludgeon our cows with rowing oars in order to make such damn tasty sausage.

This is the best end-of-year roundup we could come up with, and one that we think you'll find both fascinating and newsworthy.

Consider the first three days of next week an early thank you for your continued support of Deadspin in 2010 and, hopefully, 2011. And please enjoy the holiday party weekend with Brian Hickey. Try his eggnog. I hear it's got some kick.

Now, DJ, please play that song for the doomed we all know and love.