There are bizarre police-beat stories, and there are really bizarre police-beat stories. This one from Seattle falls into the latter category. To wit:
The man had lit a fire in the fountain ... and was "straddling the fire, letting the flames hit his genitals and buttocks."
One officer heard the man say "we are having a weenie roast" as he thrust his hips back and forth over the flame. Mostly, though, the report notes that the man was mumbling incoherently.
PubliCola doesn't name the firestarter, who was taken away for a mental evaluation. That's probably for everyone's best.