Listen. First Take is a trashy, cynical show that exists so that Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless, two of the widest talking sphincters in sports punditry, can take turns spouting fake and bad shit to the masses. Most of the time, it's so disingenuous that it's depressing, but sometimes, one of these two fellas comes with some HEAT, and it hits you like a truck, and the wool is ripped from your eyes, and suddenly, you're just as woke as they are pretending to be. Today, that happened, when Smith floated this conspiracy: Is it possible that Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly could perhaps be a racist? HMMMMM.
Now, Smith's not saying Kelly is definitely a racist, but Kelly might be a racist! Let's hear him out.
"Chip Kelly makes decisions over the last couple of years," Smith said today, "That, dare I say, leave a few brothers feeling uncomfortable."
"Mhm," Bayless agreed. "You can say that."
Spurred on by Bayless's encouragement, Smith then started yelling, before asking rhetorically, "What's up with that?"
This is great, because no one knows what's up with that! No one—perhaps not even Chip Kelly—appears to know what hell Chip Kelly is doing! The coach has made a slew of moves over just the last couple of days that don't make any sense unless (!) you allow that maybe Kelly is a racist.
Of course, this is just a theory. Again, this is just a theory. You'd almost shrug it off, except—
"I'm going to repeat this. Gone: LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin, DeSean Jackson. Staying: Riley Cooper."
And anyway, who really goes by Chip in 2015? I mean, what kind of person does that?
Stay woke out there.