Josh Gordon Officially Suspended By NFL For "At Least" A Season

It was inevitable once Adam Schefter reported that Josh Gordon had tested positive for alcohol, but today the NFL made it official: Gordon is suspended for the entirety of the 2015 football season. The Browns released a statement confirming the suspension—which is without pay and for "at least one year"—and leveled at… » 2/03/15 8:13pm 2/03/15 8:13pm

Hey Look, It's The Sad Cocktail Grenades You Always Wanted

Evidently these have been around for a while, but they're new to me. BuzzBallz: Regret In a Can. BuzzBallz: Liquid Cold-Sore. BuzzBallz: Convex Around the Sides, Like Your Abdomen When Fluid Accumulates In Your Peritoneal Cavity as a Result of the Liver Cirrhosis You Get From Living the Kind of Life That Involves… » 9/24/14 11:45am 9/24/14 11:45am

Everything You Need to Know About Douchebags You Can Learn From Booze

Comparing women to food and beverages is a tired trope of douchebaggery that's even older than the guys who think those jokes are funny. But that hasn't stopped "ladies be like food..." comparisons from being the scourge of everything from novelty Spencers Gifts bath mats to articles about... wine. » 10/02/13 1:10pm 10/02/13 1:10pm

I Got Drunk on All Kinds of Celebrity Liquor So You Don't Have To

I don't really like alcohol that much. I mean, I definitely drink it—I like a wine or a cocktail (and a cocktail and a cocktail) on a Friday afternoon—but I'm not one of those people who, say, sips a fine oaky bourbon and is all, "Oh, impudent...aspirational...cryptic...NEEDS MORE LOAM." I don't give a shit. Just… » 6/17/13 3:40pm 6/17/13 3:40pm