I don't really like alcohol that much. I mean, I definitely drink it—I like a wine or a cocktail (and a cocktail and a cocktail) on a Friday afternoon—but I'm not one of those people who, say, sips a fine oaky bourbon and is all, "Oh, impudent...aspirational...cryptic...NEEDS MORE LOAM." I don't give a shit. Just hurry…

Former Chargers and Bills linebacker Shawne Merriman was rushed to a hospital from a Hollywood club last night, with what authorities would only describe as a "medical emergency." Now there's a report that Merriman may have partied a little too hard.

"Frank" had a hell of a weekend. We're told he remembers none of it, but his next-door neighbors sure can. Frank somehow ended up in their apartment on Saturday, his shirt tied around his neck like a cape. It was mostly downhill from there.

When Shane Robinson grounded out to give the Cardinals a 3-1 lead, with two outs in the seventh, it was raining. Raining hard. Raining hard enough to call the game? Raining harder than in the previous at-bat? Raining not quite as hard as it would for the next batter, when crew chief Gary Darling called a halt to play?

Chantal Sutherland is not unattractive. But the Canadian rider, with more than 10 years of experience, has headed off any Danica-style criticism by actually being quite good at her job. Thankfully for her, that body of work will also prevent her from being known chiefly as the jockey who nearly rode drunk.

Today's overwrought rec league email carries a tinge of desperation. Coming to us from an adult hockey league in the Chicago suburbs, it's a cry in the dark from an overworked, under-appreciated league director, who wonders why a bunch of grown men can't get together to play hockey without drinking to excess. Our poor…

So Tracy's on his way home with a sixpack of refreshing Sedrin beer, the official Chinese beer of the NBA, when he's set upon by some streetballers intent on stealing his refreshing Sedrin beer, so they take advantage of his well-known benevolence to catch him in a Wile E. Coyote trap, only it doesn't work and they…

Claude Giroux is still the postseason points and goals leader, despite being eliminated two weeks ago. Last week he had surgery on both wrists—bone spurs in one, torn cartilage in the other. That didn't stop him from tearing up Philly over the weekend, an odyssey nobly chronicled by Crossing Broad. Sunday night ended…

Remember the Bud Bowl? The PBR Bowl is kind of like that, only less aimed at convincing underage kids to drink.

Because EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING in sports right now, this one has kind of passed under the radar. It shouldn't. When an NFL team finally gets its first win, and does it without its starting cornerback because said cornerback had a really wicked hangover, it is time for celebration. Break out the champagne.