Jameis Winston Fat?

Jameis Winston has always been a stout quarterback, inviting comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger not just for alleged behavioral resemblances, but for physical resemblances as well. As Michael David Smith has noted, there’s definitely some boobage going on. Is Winston fat? I’d say he’s righhhhhht on the verge of being… » 3/31/15 4:41pm Yesterday 4:41pm

Cutting Down Nets Is Stupid

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Easter, third parties, saunas, pencils, and more. » 3/31/15 4:16pm Yesterday 4:16pm

HOLY SHIT THAT ONE GUY FROM ONE DIRECTION QUIT

Holy fuck! Holy Christ goddamn! That one guy from One Direction quit! The weed dealer looking one! That one that did that thing with the hair! YOU KNOW THE ONE. No, not Harry. You fucking asshole. The other one. THE HOT ONE. I know they're ALL hot ones, but Zach (Is that his name? Wait, his name is Zayn?)… » 3/25/15 1:35pm 3/25/15 1:35pm

Which Is The Best Day Of The Week To Die?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Milk Duds, ghost & aliens, international pooping, and more. » 3/24/15 2:38pm 3/24/15 2:38pm

Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron

You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a salad on the weak… » 3/24/15 12:05pm 3/24/15 12:05pm

Deadcast: Peter King Talks To Roger Goodell, Accomplishes Nothing

So Peter King landed an interview with Roger Goodell (I know… I'm as shocked by his journalistic coup as you are) and the commissioner took the opportunity to spew out a bunch of boilerplate Roger Goodell nonsense: blanket declarations of self-assurance, private police forces, bullshit concussion stats, and obscene… » 3/24/15 10:00am 3/24/15 10:00am

The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup

Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practices. One of the… » 3/19/15 3:40pm 3/19/15 3:40pm

Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68

The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the course of five hours. … » 3/19/15 10:40am 3/19/15 10:40am

What Happens When A 38-Year-Old Man Takes An AP History Test?

I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According to this article,… » 3/18/15 11:42am 3/18/15 11:42am

Does Chip Kelly Have Rabies?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering poop, casual parenting, MRA athletes, and more. » 3/17/15 11:34am 3/17/15 11:34am

Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste

So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn't resist" (and by… » 3/13/15 4:34pm 3/13/15 4:34pm

And Now, The World’s Most Terrifyingly Inappropriate Minecraft Videos

Last week, I took a moment to explain why Minecraft, the world's biggest video game, sucks hard balls. And in my "research" for that post (five minutes), I found a number of Minecraft recreations of 9/11 over on YouTube. All of these tributes are misguided at best and tasteless at worst … » 3/11/15 12:26pm 3/11/15 12:26pm

Jim Boeheim Is The NCAA’s Favorite Kind Of Shitbag

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering bowling, moon colonies, giant scorpions, and more. » 3/10/15 3:30pm 3/10/15 3:30pm

Moron USA Today Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles

You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of sportswriting this… » 3/05/15 11:25am 3/05/15 11:25am

Things That Are The Worst, Ranked

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the dress, pantsless driving, bare feet, and more. » 3/03/15 4:34pm 3/03/15 4:34pm

What Are We Being Ordered To Care About Instead Of That Goddamn Dress?

The Rule of the Internet is that when people argue about something silly, like the color of a goddamn dress, an army of remarkably irritating people will amass to counter that phenomenon and remind you that you are a shallow cock for worrying about the color of a dress. Let's meet these smarm merchants now, shall we? » 2/27/15 11:16am 2/27/15 11:16am

Russell Wilson’s Ball-Bread Is Fucking Weird

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering failed romantic gestures, Oscar stuff, hamburgers and sex, and more. » 2/24/15 2:21pm 2/24/15 2:21pm

How To Tweet If You Are A Famous Athlete 

Last week, current Niners QB and future miserable player on a 4-12 team Colin Kaepernick got into a Twitter beef with random Twitter user Stephen Batten (Twitter handle @battman_returns, which is a weak handle when @BattenDownTheSnatches was right there for the taking). It started when Kaep tweeted out his daily… » 2/23/15 3:05pm 2/23/15 3:05pm