Why The Hell Is Chip Kelly Signing Tim Tebow? Some Working Theories

As you may have heard, the Philadelphia Eagles are signing former college veerback and ideal Nicholas Sparks film protagonist Tim Tebow to a contract today. Up until this offseason, Eagles coach Chip Kelly was rather adept at giving fans the impression that he had some kind of grand master plan for the franchise.… » 4/20/15 11:03am Monday 11:03am

Terrible Pizza Joint To Deny Gay Indiana Residents Terrible Pizza  

You may have heard recently about Indiana's new "religious freedom" law that allows businesspeople to refuse service toward gay folks. Well, as reported by ABC57 news, the good people at Memories Pizza are taking full advantage of that new law, proudly declaring that gays are not encouraged to eat their terrible,… » 4/01/15 10:09am 4/01/15 10:09am

HOLY SHIT THAT ONE GUY FROM ONE DIRECTION QUIT

Holy fuck! Holy Christ goddamn! That one guy from One Direction quit! The weed dealer looking one! That one that did that thing with the hair! YOU KNOW THE ONE. No, not Harry. You fucking asshole. The other one. THE HOT ONE. I know they're ALL hot ones, but Zach (Is that his name? Wait, his name is Zayn?)… » 3/25/15 1:35pm 3/25/15 1:35pm

Deadcast: Peter King Talks To Roger Goodell, Accomplishes Nothing

So Peter King landed an interview with Roger Goodell (I know… I'm as shocked by his journalistic coup as you are) and the commissioner took the opportunity to spew out a bunch of boilerplate Roger Goodell nonsense: blanket declarations of self-assurance, private police forces, bullshit concussion stats, and obscene… » 3/24/15 10:00am 3/24/15 10:00am

The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup

Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practices. One of the… » 3/19/15 3:40pm 3/19/15 3:40pm

Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68

The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the course of five hours. … » 3/19/15 10:40am 3/19/15 10:40am

What Happens When A 38-Year-Old Man Takes An AP History Test?

I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According to this article,… » 3/18/15 11:42am 3/18/15 11:42am

And Now, The World’s Most Terrifyingly Inappropriate Minecraft Videos

Last week, I took a moment to explain why Minecraft, the world's biggest video game, sucks hard balls. And in my "research" for that post (five minutes), I found a number of Minecraft recreations of 9/11 over on YouTube. All of these tributes are misguided at best and tasteless at worst … » 3/11/15 12:26pm 3/11/15 12:26pm