bivalves - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Deadspin Idiots Eat A Shitload Of OystersThe Deadspin Idiots were slightly salty that our friends at Jezebel told the internet, and us, to “cool it on the bivalves this summer.” Bullshit! Bivalves are the salty mucoid fruit of the sea, and we love them very much. ...

How To Make Clam Chowder Like Real Fackin' New Englandahs Do, Maybe There is a reason why every run-down, disreputable, reeking, inexplicably charming fish joint in North America serves New England-style clam chowder, and that's that New England-style clam chowder is goddamn delicious. Also, there are two other reasons....

How To Make Seafood Paella, Whether It's Traditional Or Not Picture the scene! An early summer evening in Valencia, Spain, in the mid-19th century; an aromatic open fire of orange and pine branches, and pine cones, crackles happily in an orchard clearing. A wide, flat pan, enormous, two feet across, sits suspended over the flames. The men, their olde-thy...

How To Make Linguine With Clams And Bid Farewell To This Goddamn Winter

Groundhog meteorologists notwithstanding, seasons are shapeless, poorly defined things. To wit: Traditionally, in North America, the "winter" season is regarded as beginning at some point in the back half of December (the solstice) and extending into the back half of the following March (the equino...

How To Eat The Raw Oyster, Goodness In Its Pure Form

No one has moderate feelings toward the raw oyster (except perhaps for the terminally indifferent, may they ride the Meh Bus straight to hell): Either you ohmigod love love loooooove them, or you think they are gross little brine-loogies and have bad taste in things....

The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped

What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu!...

How To Cook Bivalves, The Life-Affirming Pain In The Ass

Listen. Life is hard. You're tired all the time, you're overworked and underpaid, you never have enough time for anything and no one loves you and your hair, seriously, what are you even going for with that look, because it is not working. Most evenings, it's all you can do to doze off into a bow...