Who Drinks The Most Beer And Wine In The World?

The smart folks over at CompareCamp made a fun (and super-huge!) infographic of beer and wine knowledge. Among the interesting facts: Europeans are some damn boozehounds! They're drinking circles around us, America. Of special note is the Vatican, which trounces the world in per capita wine consumption; according… » 10/02/14 10:46am 10/02/14 10:46am

Hey Look, It's The Sad Cocktail Grenades You Always Wanted

Evidently these have been around for a while, but they're new to me. BuzzBallz: Regret In a Can. BuzzBallz: Liquid Cold-Sore. BuzzBallz: Convex Around the Sides, Like Your Abdomen When Fluid Accumulates In Your Peritoneal Cavity as a Result of the Liver Cirrhosis You Get From Living the Kind of Life That Involves… » 9/24/14 11:45am 9/24/14 11:45am

Canned Beer Is The Best Beer

Although I've recently moved into an apartment with three ceiling fans, seven windows, and a bedroom door, I do not consider myself a wealthy man. But every Thursday, my wife comes into a little bit of money, and if I time the transaction just right, I can occasionally buy something useful before she blows it all on… » 3/28/14 4:04pm 3/28/14 4:04pm

Irish Beers, Ranked

St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glitter and puke that… » 3/14/14 3:00pm 3/14/14 3:00pm

Please Stop Glorifying Crummy Dive Bars

I live in Massachusetts, which is a proud but anxious state with liberal policies regarding who can get married or call his roast beef famous and very conservative rules concerning most other types of personal behavior. For example, it's a lot harder than you'd think to get a drink around here. » 3/07/14 3:00pm 3/07/14 3:00pm

24 Light Beers, Ranked

Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough. » 2/28/14 2:37pm 2/28/14 2:37pm

Our Booze-Free Month Is Over. Hallelujah!

If you are reading this, you've stuck with us through another Drynuary. And you're probably on the cusp of letting Drynuary ride off into the sunset, like we are! Well, like SOME of us. [COUGH! Jolie! COUGH!] Who is probably reading this through rosé colored glasses. » 1/31/14 4:00pm 1/31/14 4:00pm

13 Drinks To Get You Through The Worst Month Of The Year

Did any of you wasters (pretend to) go alcohol-free in January? I know Jolie did, and I considered joining her, because I'm a big proponent of limiting your gross booze intake any way you can. Obviously year-round moderation is the best way to do it, but many of us just aren't wired that way, nor do we wish to be. I… » 1/31/14 2:30pm 1/31/14 2:30pm

11 Shots Of Liquor, Reconsidered

Good afternoon! Let me tell you how to run your wedding. Just kidding, no one cares about your wedding. Now, back to my wedding: We sprung for the all-you-can-guzzle beer and wine buffet, but we didn't serve hard liquor. This is partly because we're cheapskates and partly because we're sane—the reception was at a… » 1/24/14 2:00pm 1/24/14 2:00pm

Our Month Without Booze Is Past The Midpoint. Shit's Getting Real.

Week Three. The Wall. We warned you that Week Three would be the hardest. The novelty of Drynuary definitely wears off by now, boredom creeps in with a vengeance, and somehow you have to negotiate the interminable two weeks between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl without your favorite pastime. It… » 1/20/14 5:30pm 1/20/14 5:30pm

How Much Should You Tip Your Bartender? More Than You're Tipping Now

A friend recently asked Twitter if she should tip the guy who painted a room in her house. I told her painters are creeps and criminals and hers could be counted upon to gratuitize himself via her sock and silverware drawers, because I resort to stereotyping when I'm scared and confused, and I don't have any goddamn… » 1/17/14 3:25pm 1/17/14 3:25pm

Let's Make A Really Good Bloody Mary, For Once

When I was a dirty young man working at a low-end marketing outfit, I scoffed at the tagline for the office-approved Dockers-rock station that played all day in any cube pod where the clip artisans outnumbered the conference callers. In between Lilith Fair dirges, furniture store ads, and the softer Third Eye Blind… » 1/10/14 2:00pm 1/10/14 2:00pm

I'm Going A Month Without Booze, For Some Reason. Join Me?

Drynuary. The reality is as unattractive as the word: An entire month* without alcohol. That means no beer in front of football, no after-work glass of wine. No going out for one too many drinks with that friend you haven't seen in ages but can pick up with like your last conversation was yesterday. No bourbon in your… » 1/03/14 2:00pm 1/03/14 2:00pm

An Ode To One Of America's Best Dive Bars

You've probably never heard of Bowling Green unless its college basketball team, the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky, has broken your bracket, one year or another. The city sits between Louisville and Nashville, and people drive there from all over southern Kentucky to eat, to shop, and, most of all, to drink. That's… » 12/06/13 3:03pm 12/06/13 3:03pm

Cheap Bourbons, Ranked

Each year around mid-August, publicists start burying everyone in the food journalizing racket with ideas for Thanksgiving coverage. Most of their emails concern ways in which a client, usually a lesser television chef or an agricultural marketing board, can enhance your stuffing with this or that upscale mushroom or… » 11/25/13 3:00pm 11/25/13 3:00pm

How To Make Bourbon Bread Pudding While Also Making Yourself Drunk

I want you to sit down for this, because a revelation like the one I'm about to share might cause you to collapse from shock and I would hate to bear the blame for your bruised tailbone: In order to make bread pudding, you'll need bread. » 11/08/13 1:00pm 11/08/13 1:00pm

Why The Hell Does Your Drink Cost So Much?

I'm not ambitious enough to be downright thrifty, but I try to avoid abject retail stupidity. I know better than to buy paper plates when the free magazines and underwear catalogs that clog my mailbox are perfectly capable of supporting even the hammin'est of sandwiches. I drink tap water, and I'm smart enough to turn… » 11/01/13 2:06pm 11/01/13 2:06pm

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Visits A Beer Festival, And It's Great

The beers! The paunches! The ridiculous facial-hair arrangements! It's the Great American Beer Festival, brought to you by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Personal favorite: "Besides craft brewing, how long have you been pursuing Moby-Dick?" » 10/23/13 10:12am 10/23/13 10:12am

Chart: 71 Fictional Beers

Not content with mapping out over 500 actual beers, Pop Chart Lab has now cataloged 71 fictitious beers and beer-like substances from popular media. Everyone's heard of Butterbeer, but did you know about Heisler—an in-house fake beer from prop supplier Independent Studio Services—has been used in Desperate Housewives » 10/21/13 3:36pm 10/21/13 3:36pm

The Sneaky Public Drinker's Guide To Impromptu Tailgating

Massachusetts has a lot going for it. First and foremost, it's a really fun word to say. We also have a lot of apples here, plus more peaches than you'd think. And I can't say for certain, but I assume we still have unparalleled access to the Funky Bunch. » 10/04/13 2:00pm 10/04/13 2:00pm